Croatia Cuts Diplomatic Relations with Turkey

Ankara, Turkey: Following Croatia's defeat in the quarterfinal match of Euro 2008 where they met a fiercely powerful Turkey, the assistant minister of foreign affairs, Mr. Gustavic Ercegovac, in a press conference announced that his country will withdraw its ambassador from Turkey and cut all diplomatic relations because of the unfair Friday night soccer defeat.

When asked why his government thought the match was "unfair," the career diplomat simply responded by saying, "we played better."

In an exclusive interview with Turkey's foreign minister, Ali Babacan, the minister told Pivazistan that he didn't even know Croatia had an embassy in Turkey, adding "but if they did and now they want to leave, then fuck 'em."

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Israel to Bid for 2022 World Cup

Jerusalem, Israel: The Israeli Science, Culture and Sports minister, Mr. Ghaleb Majadle announced this morning in a press conference that Israel is considering bidding for 2022 World Cup hosts. The FIFA officials we contacted refused to comment. However, the Palestinian minister of Information and Foreign Affairs, Riyad al-Malki rejected the idea saying, "we don't know whether it will be in existence until 2022."

Pivazistan's Jerusalem bureau chief was unable to tell if Mr. al-Malki was talking about the World Cup or Israel not being in existence.

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Boston Resident Arrested for Celebratory Fire

New York, USA: An Iraqi American man was arrested last night by the Boston Police Department following game six of the NBA finals between the Boston Celtics and the L.A. Lakers. Police said that Jabbar al-Haidari fired 12 bullets into the air in celebration of the Celtics' victory. Pivazistan's New York correspondent was able to get in touch with al-Haidari's family by phone who seemed angry at the arrest, saying "these people need to know the difference between celebratory fire and real fire." Elaine Driscoll, a spokesperson for the Boston Police Department, in an email to Pivazistan said, "if you wanna do these types of things, not for nothing but you should get the fuck our of this country."

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