Israeli Doctor: "the coffins were empty"

THE END OF THE ERA OF DEFEATS
Pivazistan's Exclusive Coverage

Jerusalem, Israel: Dr. Avi Goldberg, an Israeli medical doctor who was assigned to examine the DNA of the "bodies" which were sent to Israel from Lebanon as supposedly the remains of Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev told Pivazistan in an exclusive phone conversation that the coffins contained hand-written letters with phrases such as "lol," "hahahaha" and "DNA this!"

A Hizbollah spokesperson who agreed to speak to Pivazistan under the condition that if we publish his name, he would "bomb the shit out of Aleppo" commented on Dr. Goldberg's findings by saying, "maybe we had a little fun filling the coffins, plus, Ehud and Eldad have been dead for so long that there were no remains to send."

Red Cross officials who were involved in the transportation of the coffins confirmed that the coffins were too light to have contained anything heavier than paper, adding, "but we had to go with the flow."

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