Amazing Arabs: Omar Hasan al-Bashir

Amazing Arabs
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Colonel Omar Hasan al-Bashir has been the President of the Republic of Sudan since 1989 and while there were no elections at the time of the power seizure, it was rightly assumed by al-Bashir that the people of Sudan would have voted for him anyway. When al-Bashir's mother conceived him in 1944, there was no state called Sudan, instead it was part of Egypt which was part of Britain, so for all practical purposes, al-Bashir is an Egyptian or a Brit for that matter.

It is perhaps the Egyptian in al-Bashir that makes him so supportive of democracy. But nothing makes al-Bashir an amazing Arab more than the fact that he is a man who does not care about what the world says. When even the half a state of Afghanistan would not harbor Osama Bin Lade, al-Bashir welcomed him with open arms. At the height of genocide awareness and genocide prevention, he wanted to become the first initiator of a genocide in the 21st century so he started one in Darfur.

al-Bashir is one of those people who thinks that conflict defines individuals and enhances their character and that is precisely why he started the Darfur conflict at a time when the Sudanese Civil War was barely over.

Sudan is rich in honor but poor in natural resources so its economy has been suffering, but under al-Bashir's leadership, as many as 500,000 Sudanese people from Darfur will not have to worry about finding jobs or providing for their kids as they were taken care of by the Janjaweed, the protectors of Arab honor.

Colonel Omar al-Bashir, I personally salute you, you are an amazing Arab!

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Amazing Arabs; Samir Kuntar

Amazing Arabs
(5)
أنتم تعشقون الحياة ونحن نعشق الموت

When facing oppression, a man has two choices - to resist or remain silent. It takes a man of great conviction and honor to risk his life and rise up against the oppressor, and very rarely is the world given the opportunity to recognize the achievements of such a man. Today, however, the sun once again shines on the noble Aran nation, as the resistance hero Samir Kuntar has been liberated from the grasp of the Zionists!

While heroes of resistance are frequently recognized only in death, our hero Samir is born again and has received the hero's welcome that he so deeply deserved and the praise due to him from all factions in Lebanon. Our hero Samir was not content to enjoy life in Beirut at the nightclubs and cafés. Rather, he selflessly dedicated his life to his cause, our cause, and snuck into Zionist occupied territory to strike at the enemy. His insatiable thirst for freedom was not quenched by the murder of Zionist security personnel, so he went a step further in our struggle. Knowing that the Zionists are crafty, he even smote the disguised oppressor, the oppressor of the future, and smashed a small girl's head open. This is our hero!

Perhaps our hero doesn't even know that when he struck fear into the hearts of the Zionists that another, a second young Zionist oppressor, died while being accidentally smothered by her mother. I am sure that today he is smiling just thinking of the burial of yet another young Jew.

The noble Lebanese nation recognizes the selfless struggle of the child killer Samir, and the man of faith, the hero and leader Nasrallah who worked tirelessly for his just release. Now Samir can taste freedom once again, the freedom that he struggled for. Resistance is a way of life for our heroes, and some day we can only hope to be as brave as Samir. The world will see us resist our oppressors, and the justice of our cause may not be recognized after the murder of only 2 children, but some day this will change. We can only hope that the blood of scores of little children will cleanse our land of the occupation and bring us peace and freedom that we, as human beings, so rightly deserve.

We salute you Samir, you are an amazing Arab! And we salute those who organized your welcoming party!


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Amazing Arabs: Sheikh Yussif al-Qaradawi

Amazing Arabs
(4)

Sheikh Yussif al-Qaradhawi is God's spokesperson on earth. Heavily influenced by one of the most liberal and progressive human beings to ever drink water from the Nile, Sheikh Hassanal-Banna, al-Qaradai touches the hearts of millions and messes with the minds of millions more on a weekly basis through the popular al-Jazeera TV show, al-Shari'a wa al-Hayat. al-Jazeera provides for the senior scholar a forum through which he shares his wisdom and love with the best and the brightest of earth, the Arab masses.

al-Qaradawi's love for his people makes the pope look like a sissy, the Dali Lama like an inept, useless fatso. In al-Qaradawi's mind, suicide is permitted by Islam if the action involves killing Jews and Christians (and hey a few hundred Shi'a bodies never hurt anyone either). Contrary to popular belief, al-Qaradawi is not opposed to criticism and when he makes a mistake, he has no problem reversing his position. For example when the brave Jihadists of Taliban destroyed the Budha idols back in 2001, he initially condemned the action but quickly thereafter had a change of heart and praised the sophisticatedly tolerant operation.

In Sheikh Qaradawi's loving heart, the presence of the American troops in Iraq needs to be combated by the blood of all Muslims (except his immediate family members), and so by that logic, all Americans, military personnel and civilians should b treated as targets.

In the post September 11 world where the West and Islam are engaged in a civilizational clash, we have one of the most eloquent human beings representing us, a man of more virtues than 100 Dali Lamas combined, we have our own, loving, tolerant, progressive, democracy-advocating Sheikh Yussif al-Qaradawi. Sir, congratulations, you're an amazing Arab!

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Amazing Arabs: Etienne Saqr

Amazing Arabs

(3)

Etienne Caesar Saqr, known to the people of Lebanon simply as "Abu Arz," [father of of the cedars] is the leader of a marvelous right-wing political party called, "the Guardians of the Cedars." During the Lebanese Civil War, he developed a deep love for Christian Lebanon, a love that made the likes of Pierre Gemayel blush out of envy.

Abu Arz is not your typical human being, he is a genius, when the Palestinian Liberation Organization entered Lebanon, he immediately discovered the reason for their presence there: Saudi Arabia and the other Gulf States had given Yassir Arafat billions of dollars to drive the Christians out of Lebanon and settle Palestinians there. To this grave problem which made even Jesus of Nazareth upset, Abu Arz had a perfect solution, he proposed the extermination of all Palestinian people through a national movement where every Lebanese person's duty was to kill one Palestinian person!

Abu Arz is unfortunately alive to witness the worst of his nightmares, a Lebanon where Saudi Arabia and Iran fight over control of Lebanese political leaders, a Lebanon where Maronites have become a minority, a Lebanon whose Palestinian refugees are alive, albeit humiliatingly so.

Abu Arz, I know you don't want to be called an Arab, but you're not just an Arab, you're an amazing Arab!

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Amazing Arabs: Bashar al-Assad

Amazing Arabs

(2)

Bashar Hafiz al-Assad, the democratically elected President of Syria, the blue-eyed opthalmologist whose altruism, nationalism and love for public service made him leave his comfortable 9 to 5 job as an eye surgeon and took a pay cut to work as Syria's President, is Pivazistan's pick for "Amazing Arabs." Contrary to popular belief, the fact that his father had served as President had absolutely nothing to do with why he became President. Dr. Bashar became President simply because he wanted to.

The young Assad is better than his father in that he doesn't silence the opposition by creating an environment where opposition is almost impossible, he allows oppositionists to surface and then eradicates them by, well killing them. He's a staunch supporter of Lebanon, a region he rightly considers to be a mere part of Syria.

When Bashar was the first son of Syria, he did me a favor by helping bring the Internet to the country, something he now regrets.

He's not an ordinary Arab leader because this one plays with the region's big dogs, he follows his father's policy vis-a-vis the Islamic Republic of Iran, that of a strategic alliance. He hates the Saudi royals or as he likes to call them, "dirty Sunnis." In 2005 he shook the region by ordering the nation's Intelligence service to murder the Saudi puppet, Rafiq al-Hariri, an event which he denies in public but jokes about in private.

Bashar al-Assad is now playing with the biggest dog of them all, the "illigitimate child of the age," a phrase his father coined for the Jewish state of Israel. Syria and Israel are due to begin peace talks in the near future.

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Amazing Arabs: Muammar al-Qadhafi

AMAZING ARABS
(1)

It is with honor and enthusiasm that the first of the series, "Amazing Arabs" goes to Colonel Mu'ammar al-Qadhafi, the absolute benevolent leader of a country whose name is a complete sentence, the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriyyah. The Colonel is 68 years old, 40 of which have been spent as the leader of Libya.

No man is perfecter than Qadhafi. As a young Arab nationalist, his role model was Jamal Abdulnasser, the fourth pyramid, the man who epitimizes victory, the man who gave the Arabs a true sense of unity.

But Qadhafi doesn't stop at pan-Arabism, he is also a pan-Africanist, he is the whitey of the dark continent, the young-looking senior leader who wraps his head and body with Arab/Muslim/African pieces of cloth.

In Qadhafi's world everything has to make sense, if they don't make sense, he wants them perished. Shi'aism didn't make sense to him, so he invited Mousa al-Sadr to Libya and killed him. How else should mainstream Muslims react to these pagan-like belief systems?

Congratulations Colonel Qadhafi, you are an amazing Arab!

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